No one can fully appreciate a caregiver, unless you are one yourself. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and of course, the very best care you can give. If the patient is a friend or a neighbor, you can confer with family members about what the patient would like and try to make them feel more comfortable. They might have suggestions, maybe not, so you go with the flow, hoping that your efforts are appreciated. They might get irritable, but you do your best to understand their situation. You are a friend, there when they need you. Isn't that what friends are for? You have a choice to continue to care for them and accept their quirks or unappreciative behavior or tell them they have to find someone else to care for them.
However, what if the patient is your spouse? Then it becomes even more difficult. Even though your spouse loves you very much and you love them, they might become difficult and demanding. At times it might feel like they are biting your head off. They are in the difficult position of being sick, unable to do anything, losng the control they had of being able to do their regular daily routine. Unable to show you the love they once had, which came so easy to them. They look at themselves now and feel less than perfect, vulnerable, in pain and angry because of this ailment.
Picture yourself, sick, with no strength to even pick up a fork or to get up and walk when you were an active individual? Picture your caregiver, who is your wife or husband, looking down at you with sadness and despair seeing the person they love feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed. Unable to do now what they did. The things you two used to do together are now on hold for an undetermined length of time. You, as the patient are feeling the strength and life from your body weaken and abandon you, leaving you vulnerable.
If you know someone who is a caregiver, give them the credit they deserve. It's not easy to look at someone daily and only watch someone slipping away or watching a patient that has lost his or her self-esteem because of the condition they are faced with. Giving of themselves to care for others.
MEETING BY CHANCE is a book, available in paperback, Kindle Edition and now in audiobook,which I have written about one such caregiver. Her love of her aunt helped her daily, when it came to showing kindness and patience. She learned to overlook a lot of the difficulties that come along with caregiving. In time she became aware of her aunt's past private life making the daily routine of caring for her feisty and elderly aunt seem less difficult.
Soon to be released: Haven of Kindness - The story of a nurse, who throughout her younger years nurtured and cared for the sick. Now during her retirement, she finds that the caring never stops and the dreams she wanted to fulfill for her retirement mean more to her now than ever before.
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http://www.amazon.com/Meeting-Chance-Jacqueline-Coote/dp/1493520555
